Excerpt from New Book: Grieving With Less Pain

I’m still in my post-birth euphoria phase, buzzing with excitement about having birthed my new book, 25 Practical Uses for Radical Forgiveness: A Handbook for Solving the Problems and Challenges of Everyday Life In a New Way.

The eBook version is available now, but we are offering the printed book at this time to you first – before the official publication date of April 1st.

Scroll down to the end to see a list of all 25 applications (they are like chapter headings really), and you’ll see the wide variety of uses to which Radical Forgiveness can be put with often quite spectacular results.

I thought I would spare you yet another reminder about the Book Launch Package and instead give you a brief excerpt from one application that I often get a lot of questions about – Application #22: Grieving the Loss of a Loved One With Less Pain.

“When death of a loved one, or even a pet, comes gently and quite naturally at the end of life, we can prepare ourselves for it and deal with the loss without too much anguish. But if the death is premature, tragic, accidental, unexpected or self-inflicted, the grief can be excruciating. Children who lose their parents at a young age may carry that loss all through their lives.

We don’t do grief well in the western world. Compared to people in other parts of the world, we have very few rituals or customs that help us grieve. We don’t allow ourselves time to grieve to the extent we should, given the intensity of the suffering a death can cause and how toxic that energy can become if it is not felt and fully expressed.

Grief is a process and we must give ourselves time to go through it. A soldier who loses a limb in the war will need to grieve the loss of the leg or arm before he or she can go on and adjust to life without it. A person who loses the job he has been in for years and given his life to will need to grieve it as well. Without grieving the old one, he won’t be able to attract a new job that will suit him. Someone who loses a relationship must grieve the loss of that relationship before he or she can successfully create a new one. Otherwise, he or she will take the old energy into the new one and lose that one too.

You cannot make yourself move through grief in less time than it takes. For some it might take a few days, while for others it can take months, if not years. Rather than short-circuit our grief, we need a way to transform it.

And that’s where Radical Forgiveness comes in. We can reduce our suffering simply by seeing the death from a Radical Forgiveness perspective. Instead of seeing it, as most people now do, as a failure, untimely, preventable, etc., we can ease the pain if we become open to the possibility that the death occurred when and how it was meant to happen. Also, by realizing that we have no right to judge it since it was of our soul’s choosing, not ours. Even death by murder, if it were to happen, would be ‘perfect’ because we would have to assume our soul wanted that experience.

The other important assumption that has to be released is that death is real. It is not real. The soul is immortal. Only the body dies. It is simply a significant change in the frequency at which we vibrate that moves us from one state of being to another.

Once we have stopped defining grief as being remorse over the death itself, our suffering is greatly reduced. Our grief is then all about our unbearable loss, the pain of knowing that we will not have the person in our lives anymore. Yes, that will take time to accept, but it is made a whole lot easier by letting go of all that other junk.”

This chapter then goes on to offer an exercise that anyone experiencing grief can do to help them ease the pain, and the need to forgive everyone who is in some way implicated in that person’s death.

So you see, in this book, we don’t just say “do a worksheet and get over it.” We look at the issues underlying the topic in question, establishing a context in which Radical Forgiveness makes perfect sense. Insight is an important ingredient in the healing process.

Be blessed,


P.S. The Book Launch Package is only available until midnight U.S. Eastern time Friday. Order now and along with the paperback edition, you’ll get the Radical Forgiveness CD absolutely free, plus an opportunity to add on the eBook for just $1.97. Don’t miss it!


Chapter 1: Preparing the Ground
Chapter 2: Digging into the Subsoil
Chapter 3: Ditching Victim Consciousness

1. Raise Your Vibration and Be Happy
2. Detox Your Body, Reduce Stress, Live Longer, and Enjoy Better Sex
3. Scrub Out Your Chakras and Heal From the Inside Out
4. A CancerHelp and Prevention Strategy
5. Lose Weight and Love Your Body
6. Control Perfectionism & CFS and Find Your Inner Slob
7. Overcome Your Addiction with RF as the Next Step
8. Release That Trauma and Let’s Get On With Life
9. Manage Anger and Other Juicy Emotions

10. Resolve Disputes, Win Lawsuits and Ace Court Cases

Preamble – What Are Relationships For Anyway?
11. Make Peace with Your Family and Heal Generations Past
12. How to Survive the Slings and Arrows of Parenting
13. Revive a Failing Relationship – Make it or Break It!
14. How to Negotiate for a ‘Win-Win’ Reconciliation
15. Find Love and Acceptance for Yourself, the Way You Are
16. Find Love for the Other Guy Even if He is a Jerk
17. Survive Divorce and Move On to What’s Next

18. Optimize Success in Business with Radical Forgiveness
19. How to Rescue a Dysfunctional Family Business
20. Shift Your Money Consciousness

21. Making Your Radical Forgiveness Bucket List
22. Grieving the Loss of a Loved One with Less Pain
23. Making Sense of Abortion

24. Transforming the Illusion of Tragic World Events
25. Surviving and Riding the Shift: Trusting the Process

3 thoughts on “Excerpt from New Book: Grieving With Less Pain

  1. Fiona

    Hi Colin
    Congratulations on your new arrival!
    I have started reading and wanted to comment on something you have written about in application 10- Resolving Disputes.
    You mention morphogenetic fields- which I had not heard of before- but I immediately equated this to something that I have been aware of on 2 occasions now after doing worksheets on people I was struggling with.
    I got great results and relations improved dramatically.
    What I noticed was that although the energy was transformed between myself and the other person, on two occasions( one very dramatically) the situation between that person and a third party came to a head at work and became very heated- the end result was one party resigning.
    I noted this in my journal at the time because I had done a worksheet on both of those people and I was well aware that they had their own difficulties between each other but although I made my peace with them through RF- their problems between each other became magnified.
    I interpreted the reason for this to be that as one of the parties (i.e. me)was being removed from the toxic energy exchanges (in that,these colleagues no longer had a need to behave in that way towards me) then their energy was projected elsewhere i.e. towards each other.
    What you describe really hit a chord with me as I actually feel the whole group dynamic within my workplace was affected by me doing worksheets and RF on just two colleagues.
    There were more changes too throughout the whole group, the more I think about it…….
    Do you think this is a reasonable explanation?

    1. Colin

      Hi Fiona,

      Yes, I think you probably have it right, though it is always tricky to imagine you can see the underlying dynamic. We seldom see the truth, but it’s interesting to look at these situations and see the possibilities for where the perfection might lie. Just so long as we know that we really don’t know. It’s much more complex than we can see on the surface, but clearly your work removed some energy that was stuck that was able to move. I hope you are not feeling responsible for creating it though. Hope you are enjoying the book.


      1. Fiona

        Hi Colin
        No I don’t feel at all responsible for the energy shifts and consequences. I totally accept and understand that forces greater than my understanding are at work.
        It was just something that I noticed and it was good to read about it in your book.


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