Seeing the “Perfection” in the Situation – The Reframe

man frameIt’s that word “perfection” that bugs me! That’s what a lot of people say to me when I talk about a Radical Forgiveness Reframe.

Well, how about purpose then? As in, “I Am Willing to See the Purpose in the Situation?” or “I’m Willing to See the Hand of God in the Situation?”

Whatever makes it possible for you to open up to the idea that nothing wrong was or is happening, and there’s nothing to forgive… which is the essence of Radical Forgiveness.

“A crazy idea,” screams the Mind.

I know. It does seem crazy. It takes a big shift in consciousness to reframe events in this way. Thank God for the fact that the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet helps us make that shift.

In the free webinar coming up on the April 24, I’m going to take you through the Radical Forgiveness worksheet, step by step, but I thought it would be helpful to give you a few pointers first for the bit that people find most difficult. The reframe.

So what is it, and what constitutes a proper reframe? Well, when we reframe a situation we basically exchange one set of assumptions rooted in the World of Humanity (as in the victim story) for another set rooted in the World of Spirit.

It matters not whether the reframe is “true;” rather it is how we frame it with assumptions anchored in the World of Spirit that constitutes the test as to whether it is indeed a Radical Forgiveness reframe or not.

It is very common for people, even seasoned Radical Forgiveness coaches and graduates, to express their reframes in terms of having received a ‘gift,’ a ‘lesson’ or even a ‘healing’ that remain, to all intents and purposes, firmly anchored in the World of Humanity, even though they are dressed up in spiritual language. They nevertheless fail the test.

Example: A friend of mine who was herself a holocaust survivor, told me about an exhibition in the Holocaust Museum in Auschwitz, Germany, that featured a huge pile of children’s shoes. All of them had been taken from the children before they were gassed.

As a student of Radical Forgiveness she made an attempt to reframe it, primarily so she could come to terms with it herself and integrate it somehow into her own personal history of having been part of that terrible experience.

She said that perhaps the reframe was that the ‘gift’ (there’s that word again — always a trap) was that the souls of the children ‘volunteered’ to die in this way so that people who saw the pile of shoes would ensure that, since children are always the victims of war, they would never create war again. In that sense, there was a Divine purpose in what happened.

In that statement were indeed two assumptions rooted in the World of Spirit. One was that there is no death and souls choose when and how to make their transition both in and out of human form. The second was that there was Divine purpose, even in this situation.

It counts, perhaps, as a partial reframe to that extent. But making it about “stopping wars” snapped it right back into the World of Humanity and made it no more than a case of cause and effect.

By way of an example, let me offer a possible reframe for this which might pass the test. “I now realize that the souls who inhabited those children’s bodies incarnated with a specific mission to be killed in a particularly gruesome manner to teach us that we are all One, that separation is not real, that death is not real, and that when we senselessly kill a seemingly innocent child, we kill ourselves. And that we are all children of God; the One ‘Sonship.’”

In anticipation of someone asserting that the reframe inherent in Jill’s Story (Chapter One in my book Radical Forgiveness) fails the test because I made it about saving my sister’s marriage and ‘healing’ her core-negative belief that her father didn’t love her, let me say this: If it were just about that, it would fail the test. What it was really about though, and Jill really did get this, was that her own Spiritual Intelligence created the whole scenario as an opportunity to learn that she was loved, that she was whole and complete with or without a man, and that she was entirely responsible for her life and that only Spirit is real. The rest was simply an illusion — a victim story based in the World of Humanity which she was able to release.

I hope this helps you in the process of doing a Radical Forgiveness worksheet, in particular with step number 18. Having said all this though, it really doesn’t matter what you write on the worksheet. Your intention to do it is enough. You cannot screw it up! Would God care if you failed the reframe test? I don’t think so.



P.S. I’m looking forward to the April 24th Recognizing the Power in Using the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet Webinar, where I’ll be going through the worksheet step by step. You can join me, absolutely free. Sign up today.

7 thoughts on “Seeing the “Perfection” in the Situation – The Reframe

  1. Donna

    Thank you, Colin.
    I find that my mind resists this a lot.
    But, I am beginning to get it. Only
    through repeated events in which I
    see that my tendency is to weave the
    same victim story. And, it is true.
    No matter what happens, I am still
    loved and I now have a stronger ability to
    keep taking responsibility for what I
    want to do instead of waiting to see
    what others will do and/or expecting
    them to love me.

  2. maria

    Thanks a lot for your book, it really move me in my soul, i have been working on myself for the last 16 years, and i knwe the key was forgive, just i couldnt find the way to do it.

    So, you appear in my live, with those wonderful book, and the main point is:
    if everything that happens is for a reason, to learn a lesson in lifetime, and those painful experineces had this propose, and the soul of that person who damage me and hurted me were agree to do that for our learning process in this lifetime, i dont have to forgive nobody, just, thank all of them because they were my teachers!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!! I am still working and working on that!!!!!

    Thanks a lot! It is a revolutionary way to see what happen in our life!! Thanks a lot!


  3. Judith Phillips

    Thank you, Colin. I have done many a worksheet and the Miracles Retreat; however, I needed to read this now, as it is pertinent to what is going on now. Thank you for reminding me, of what is real – rooted in Spirit – and what is my creation. Very grateful for Spirit’s timing. – Judy

  4. Cathy Corn

    You’ve helped me so much, Colin. I’ve used the worksheets, which have transformed my understanding of difficult situations, listened to audio CD’s, read your books. It’s like magic! Now I automatically look for the gift in each conflict. My question is: will this webinar be sent out as a replay? I’m working during the time you broadcast. Thank you, merci, and mahalo, my friend! Many blessings and may each and every dream come true!

    1. Colin

      If you sign up for the webinar, you will be sent a link for the replay. You’ll be able to listen to the replay for 72 hours after the webinar is over.

  5. Mary

    Your teachings about forgiveness have been life changing for me. I discovered my husband of 35 years had a secret life for the last ten years. I was so in denial that as I started looking on computers, cell phone records, and GPS tracking and had all the concrete evidence and presented it to him, he would still deny it but then turn it on me and blame me for all his unhappiness. Another year went by before I finally said I wanted a divorce. I was not wired to be divorced and his long term betrayal and blame left me in ashes. Rage, humiliation, sadness, and despair ran through me. I even had a heart attack, possibly brought on by the stress. I felt like I was in another reality.

    But one night I remembered your forgiveness process I had done in the past and asked for the purpose for this situation. The purpose of our relationship came flowing out and I even began to see why events needed to happen at the time they did. That was the beginning of my healing. I am very grateful for your teachings and understanding.

  6. Jocelyne

    I purchased your CDs several years ago but only recently got around to listening to them and trying out the worksheets. Then synchronicity happened and I very much needed to do the work after a recent difficult human experience. I am still trying to reconcile allowing and experiencing the emotional part. The mind gets it but the heart suffers and so seeing the “perfection” becomes a journey. It feels like peeling the layers of an onion to get to the core assumptions that have led to such pain. When these are glimpsed, the perfection is then obvious. I truly appreciate the new way of looking at this as traditional forgiving was two steps forward and one step back. I initially wanted to forgive so I would not have to do it again with certain individuals. Now I see that it rests with me and that the healing is about me, that the experiences were to help me out and were from love, not from hatred or sadism. Thank you and I shall keep on reading and working on the sheets.

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