In my last blog, I argued that the victims of sexual harassment by the likes of Harvey Weinstein and all the other men in positions of power and influence who feel entitled to extort sexual favors from women under threat, won’t be free of their victimhood until they forgive their abusers and, by extension, all men who have been complicit in tacitly supporting it.
Let me stress that the kind of forgiveness I was talking about is not letting bygones be bygones, learning to forgive and forget, letting it go, or any other such forms of pseudo forms of forgiveness that get trotted out by those who try to define it.
Neither is it letting the men off the hook for their reprehensible behavior by citing cultural contexts, locker-room talk (as was Trump’s dismissal of his proud claim to grab ‘pu**ies’ whenever he pleased), or any other such ‘trumped up” (sorry) excuses.
No, what I was alluding to was a form of forgiveness which has the effect of not only transforming the consciousness of the individuals by freeing them from thinking of themselves as a victim but one that has the potential to change the very condition that is at the root of the problem. It is what has come to be known as Radical Forgiveness.
It is not a religious concept but is a psycho-spiritual approach that requires we see things both from the human perspective, which is how we see the current situation and the spiritual perspective, which suggests that something is happening at a much deeper level that has a spiritual purpose.
In my previous blog, I intimated that Harvey Weinstein’s soul or higher self had been enrolled with the mission of raising the consciousness of much of the world regarding how women are treated so that this energy can be released and the split between the genders be healed.
As soon as we open to the possibility that this might be the case and that everything is unfolding according to some kind of divine plan and that all the players in this human drama are volunteers at the spiritual level, the accumulated toxic energy is released, and everything changes.
At the moment we are at the first and second of the five stages of Radical Forgiveness: 1. Getting the story out and having it validated. 2. Feeling all the feelings associated with what happened.
Everyone is feeling outraged, which is good. We can’t heal what we don’t feel. It is essential that we don’t skip this stage.
The third stage is where we stand back and try to understand why men do what they do to keep women in their place and exploit them. We try to walk in their shoes for a while and try to bring some humility and compassion to the situation. This is, at best, as far as traditional forgiveness can go. The belief that we are victims remains intact.
The fourth stage is where we open our minds to the possibility that there is a reason why this is happening and that there is a divine purpose behind it, even though we aren’t shown yet what it might be. We just have to be willing to be open to this as a possibility and that, from a spiritual perspective, there is nothing to forgive.
The fifth stage is where we take some physical action like filling in a Radical Forgiveness Worksheet that allows us to express our willingness to entertain that as a possibility. It does not require belief, however. Just being open to it is enough.
Try it for yourself. It’s the only form of proof that counts. Download a free Radical Forgiveness Worksheet from our website and fill it in, whether it makes sense to you or not. If you have experienced being sexually harassed, and a report out today claims that 50% of all women have, do the worksheet on your abuser. If not, do it on Harvey Weinstein.
See what happens.