Make Peace with Your Family

Make Peace with Your Family
Break the Cycle with Radical Forgiveness

App 11-2If you were to observe the dramas and issues you have been challenged with all through your adult life, you are likely to find that most of them have their origin in childhood within the family unit. You might notice they fall into two categories:

1. Intentional or (mostly) unintentional woundings by your parents that you have repeatedly acted out in a variety of ways over the years.
2. Your having taken on the pain and wounds of your parents and generations past and acted those out as if they were your own.

In both cases, your reactions to the traumas and pain you experienced in those early years would have caused you to form specific beliefs about yourself and the world that reflected your experiences.

These, in turn, became like internal gyroscopes that created your life in line with those beliefs. A very typical one is where you, say, felt abandoned at some time in your childhood and then created a pattern of abandonment in your adult life.

In fact, here’s one way to find out what those beliefs were: Just look at what is showing up in your life. Your life continually reflects your consciousness.

The remedy is to forgive your parents for creating the negative beliefs that you have been acting out and then ditch the belief.

To download a free Radical Forgiveness worksheet, click here. (This will take you to the Free Stuff page of Colin’s Cafe. If you have not registered before, click the link to open a free account and you will have access to all of the material on the Free Stuff page of the Cafe.)

Most people are aware of this dynamic, but generational pain is not so well understood. It means that people are carrying pain that is not necessarily theirs and acting it out as if it were their own.

They have identified with the pain of their parents, and their parents’ parents, and so on, back through time, and then have owned it.

Part of it, I think, is an inner desire to heal that pain on their behalf. In fact, they may have chosen to come in through their particular parents for that purpose.

But if we have no awareness of that, it just becomes part of the generational pattern and gets handed on down to the next generation. That is, unless we heal it – using Radical Forgiveness, of course.

There is new evidence showing that unreleased emotional pain is carried forward in the genes from generation to generation. This proves that the origin of your pain may well go back countless generations!

Look what is happening in Gaza right now. As I wrote in my Saturday blog, the war going on there is about healing the victim consciousness that has accumulated over the centuries, generation after generation. It has to stop somewhere.

And guess what? Because you and I and everyone else who is awake and are able to see beyond the drama that is happening out there, we are the ones who can stop it using Radical Forgiveness… in cases like Gaza, by using the Radical Transformation Worksheet I spoke about last Saturday.

To download a free Radical Transformation Worksheet, click here.

But, that said, we are also called to help break the cycle that may exist in our own families.

Ask yourself: Are you carrying your mother’s pain, your father’s pain or grandparent’s pain? Does the pain go back even further?

If you see that you are, you need to forgive yourself for stealing their pain and acting it out for them. You have no right to do that. It’s not your pain. They chose it, so they have to heal it.

To download a free Radical Self-Forgiveness worksheet, click here.

Like most people, you’ve probably come to this awareness at mid-life, probably after you have raised your children, so it’s going to take some Radical Self-Forgiveness to release yourself from how you might have continued the cycle. But as you let go of the pain that is not yours, your children will too. Only then will the cycle cease. So, do it now, if only for their sake!



P.S. For step-by-step instructions on using the Radical Self-Forgiveness worksheet, join me on August 21 at 1:30 pm Eastern time for a free webinar. If you can’t come at that time, signing up will guarantee you get invited to the 72-hour replay, so register now!

Click the arrow below to hear be read the first 2 minutes from Application 11, Make Peace with Your Family Origin & Heal from my newest book, 25 Practical Uses for Radical Forgiveness.

One thought on “Make Peace with Your Family

  1. Lucinda

    Thank you for this. I’m one of those who in middle age is suddenly really seeing the effects of generational pain on me and other family members, including my children. My grandmother was mean and miserable, my mother took that on, and I chose it too, out of some sense of loyalty and wanting to belong and not knowing there was another way! If there’s one thing I could do with my life, it would be to break this cycle. That’s a legacy that would last longer and give more than any grand accomplishment I can think of. Thank you for articulating this pattern and for giving me a tool to address it!

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