Life is a Feeling Experience

grievingI sometimes get criticized for expressing what some people consider as negative feelings and imply that such feelings are not consistent with Radical Forgiveness. In the video that follows, I address this issue head on. But first, let me say this to put it in context.

I believe that life on the planet is meant to be an emotional experience. That’s why we chose to take on a body. To deny one’s feelings is to deny the reason for being here. There is no such thing as a negative feeling. Feelings only become toxic if they are suppressed and denied and that stunts our spiritual growth.

We purposefully set ourselves up to have experiences that make us feel separate so we can feel what that is like. That’s what our soul wants. Once we have experimented enough with separation and have realized that it is just an illusion, we wake up to the reality that we are in fact all one. But that shift doesn’t happen in the head. It occurs in the heart and is felt as Love. Without we feel compassion for each other in our everyday interactions with each other along the way, we’ll never get there. We need to open our hearts and let ourselves be vulnerable.

There’s nothing to lose but our pain.

43 thoughts on “Life is a Feeling Experience

  1. Kristin Kemp

    Thank you Colin. this video was very timely for me. I have spent the last few years repressing my feelings and then all exploded and capsized. In the laws or attraction teachings I never heard this message that we must feel the pain in order to heal. I understood “feel good at all cost”, so that’s what I would try to do. I was avoiding negative painful feelings at all costs. Then I just couldn’t any longer and all went south quickly for me. Now I will allow myself to feel the pain recognize what it’s about and then work on the forgiveness.

    Are any of your books available on audio?

    1. Colin

      Thank you, Kristin. Many of my books are available to download in the eStore. Just look for the Downloadable Products on the left menu once you have clicked the eStore tab above.

  2. Michael

    Thank you Colin.

    As a former positive thinker-feeling denier and now passionate advocate of honoring all feelings as a way of honoring the soul, I continue to be inspired by what a clear and simple example you are to me in this arena and how you help me learn what I already know deeper.

    Give the mother country “hell”….and maybe then haven will come on it’s own through Radical Forgiveness!

  3. Denise

    Colin, I appreciate how you are able to share your human experience with us. You are a good example of taking self responsibility. Your video was from the heart and a good message for all to hear.

  4. Joanna

    I do agree on that!
    Very well said.

    I am a spiritual being and I am aware of it. Well, it happens sometimes that I am also judgmental and angry and biased!
    Stating that at this stage of development we should not have any negative emotions is a great way of bypassing them.
    I let myself to have negative feeling and I love myself for it.
    But even I am angry and biased, I know that in every moment I can change my perspective to spiritual one, and I can look at situation with love and gratitude.

    Thanks God for it.

  5. Bonnie Felker

    Hi Colin. How terrific to see you with that gorgeous view, and the ducks in the background!
    I really appreciated your comments a few days ago about the response to the presentation you gave, and I thought it was honest – and NOT resentful or negative, just a fact. Part of the English mythology, as I understand it, has always been to be detached and non-feeling, therefore appearing to be strong and able to face anything. Not a good thing, as we have come to know. Your ‘rant’ really helped to express that, and to show what a difference feeling your feelings can make – in an Englishman! I know that people will think about what you said. Most may probably reject it, or tuck it away never to be looked at again. I trust that some will really think about it, and get in touch with you. I guess we need to expect that this is just ‘first contact’ and it will take time and love to get the message and work out to those souls who truly need it. You made me think about some things going on in my life in a new light, and for that I thank you. I appreciate the tweeking.
    Take care, be well, safe travels.

  6. Tom Dietvorst

    Teach me not to make of this an obstacle to peace.
    Take this from me and look upon it, judging it for me. Let me not see it as a sign of sin or death, nor use it for destruction. Teach me not to make of this an obstacle to peace. But let You use it for me to facilitate its coming. (T19.IV.C. 11: 8-10)

    The above are some lines from A Course In Miracles (ACIM) I ran across today. Sometimes ACIM with its convoluted and Christic language can be difficult to read. This a good one. Let me use it (whatever is happening – as “victim” or “perpetrator”) to facilitate the uncovering of peace in me, and through the uncovering of peace in me, the uncovering of peace in all that is…Let me not make of this (whatever I am encountering) an obstacle to peace.

    1. Colin

      I love the Course. But many use it as an excuse to hide out in the head rather than feel. Anyone who uses this strategy could easily construe that last sentence to mean that you go direct to peace without acknowledging the feelings that first gave rise to the discomfort in the first place. I call that doing a spiritual bypass.

  7. Kathleen

    I am delighted to here you say that emotions are part of our purpose. I spent the first half of my life repressing and denying my feelings. This last 20 years of allowing myself to feel the emotions that I have has given me a freedom that is totally unbelievable. Thank you for letting us all know that feeling our emotions is perfectly OK. I was once told that feeling my emotions was allowed it was my behavior that the emotions sometimes caused was not always appropriate. Learning how to deal with my emotions was what has set me free.

  8. Edgar Rivera

    Collin you have been a blessing. Not only for what you are doing, but for who you are. Continue your work. I may try to contact you by phone to see the possibility of your coming to Puerto Rico. You wont have to learn spanish, though. 🙂

    1. Colin

      I tried Edgar, but I was useless at it. Too old, I guess. You’ll have to translate!

  9. Diana

    Thanks, Colin, for reminding me to honor my feelings. It’s sad that the message received is that if you’re spiritual, you won’t have strong feelings. Bull!
    Had an awful time a few weeks ago when I received a nasty email from an ex. I didn’t want to acknowledge how much it hurt, and didn’t want to show it or feel it.
    Instead, I ate unhealthy food for comfort. And repeated that every 2 hours until I was very sick.
    The next 3 days I finally dealt with my feelings, and did a fast.
    I pray next time I’ll know it’s OK to feel the feelings, talk about them, journal them, etc. They want to be heard, acknowledged and loved. I love myself enough to do that for me.
    Thank you. Am creating a financial forgiveness exercise for a workshop in 2 weeks. Having seen you twice, you are of course, the inspiration. Love.

    1. Colin

      Hi Diana,
      Congratulations on both counts. For dealing with your emotions and creating a financial forgiveness exercise for a workshop. I’m doing one myself here in UK in August. Would you be willing to share the exercise with me?

  10. Nicholas

    Dear Colin,

    This video raised a tangential question for me, a request for clarity.

    I understand that lodged emotion can cause cancer in addition to emotional problems. When the RF process nullifies the injurious energy of the lodged emotion and heals the cancer has it healed the person of emotional instability as well?

    Breath-work (rebirthing) purges emotion from the body/mind system and provides physical healing as well as emotional stability. Can we say that the RF process alone is sufficient to that task?

    1. Colin

      I understand that lodged emotion can cause cancer in addition to emotional problems. When the RF process nullifies the injurious energy of the lodged emotion and heals the cancer has it healed the person of emotional instability as well? IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW FOR SURE, AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY. WHO ISN’T EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AT SOME MOMENTS IN TIME. IF YOU MEAN MENTAL ILLNESS, THEN NO. RF IS FOR WELL PEOPLE.

      Breath-work (rebirthing) purges emotion from the body/mind system and provides physical healing as well as emotional stability. YOU CANNOT CLAIM THIS ANY MORE THAN WE CAN CLAIM THAT RF HEALS ANYTHING. IT’S FOR THE PERSON TO HEAL THEMSELVES WITH THE TOOLS AND INFORMATION WE GIVE THEM. Can we say that the RF process alone is sufficient to that task? NO.

    2. Colin

      I answered this in response to your e-mail. Basically the answer is no in both cases.

  11. jeanne

    Loving what is as is and so it is. Thank you so much for YOU and all you do. You changed my life several years ago when I read radical forgiveness. I love your teaching and use your models in my own practice. Yes, life is an experience and that experience is feeling what is–not as we thought to stuff feelings and adapt. Life is a processa process of feeling through. Thank you for YOU!
    Jeanne Belli

  12. Sara Long

    Thank you, Colin…I do so appreciate your viewpoint! I’ve heard you before on Jennifer Hadley’s “Living ACIM” free teleclasses and work at practicing Radical Forgiveness myself. I have a dear friend from the UK whom I’ve witnessed suffering, first from a fear of cancer, and now from being tested and told what to do by a gang of doctors that are merely exacerbating her suffering. I’m a hypnotherapist who has studied ACIM for years and think all her problems could be easily solved merely by letting go and actually facing her fears…but she’s British and instead, she stuffs them. “Stiff upper lip!” She proudly admits to never crying and continues to suffer because she is afraid to face her feelings. So I have to accept her as she is, realize she is on her own path, continue to send her love and see her as the perfect, whole and complete being that she is. So…I guess watching her suffer is a part of my learning, forgiving, and acceptance-of-what-is process too.

    1. Colin

      Exactly! I urge people who look at these comments take the time to understand the truth of what you are saying here. It is the truth.


  13. Margaret Taylor

    Love your coments, Colin, about the English. I was one once, English, and now I am
    Canadian…..but having done your “Radical Forgiveness” course, I realize that I can now
    drop that English ‘defensive’ behaviour.
    Life is fun, even at my age, 80, and I embrace every day with wonder (and meditation),
    and look forward to being a better person the older I get.
    Thanks again, for your wonderful philosophy and willingness to share it.
    Margaret Taylor, Toronto, Canada.

    1. Colin

      Hi Margaret,

      My sentiments entirely. Keep having fun and being vulnerable rather than defensive.


  14. wendy kiley

    so refreshing knowing that we are all trying to heal and most are looking for a way to release victim consciousness i being a victim of child sexual abuse in my younger years and have been trying to heal myself for a lot of years and plant seeds in others to hopefully help. forgiveness is to release the toxic effects not necessary to accept the behaviour of the person i have released my abuse but the effects on the consciousness eventually becomes clear we need to forgive ourselves most of all .

    1. Colin

      Hi Wendy,
      I agree, but in my view it needs to be Radical Forgiveness and Radical Self-Forgiveness if it is to really make a difference. Have you tried it? Check them out on this site.


  15. Larch

    Colin I really like your work and have enjoyed using your worksheets I find them really useful tools…..however what is with the judgemental and very blinkered view of the English….as I thought a collective name for a group of individuals many of whom are open honest and willing to explore different ideas and perspectives….a prophet dejected unaccepted in his home town?????????? I wonder the role your attitude might play in how your message is received… sorry I admire your work but it is getting my goat to hear you slate a nation on mass

    1. Colin

      Hi Larch,

      I can only share with authenticity and as much thoughtfulness as I can how I see things. If it upsets you, perhaps you need to look at what it mirrors for you. Of course everything is in the eye of the beholder, but I do my best to observe objectively. And I dealt with the prophet in his own land cliche in the video. It doesn’t apply. And I am not slating anyone, individually or en-masse. Just sharing how I see things. Take it or leave it.


  16. Margaret Dragalin

    Hello Colin, I just wanted to remark on some ideas about the British I had during your video. I have never visited England. I am somewhat of an amateur historian of WWII because of the impact it had on my family. I am an American, & I have an emotional & inordinate admiration for the Allies during this war, & of course I find the British to have been called upon by destiny to perform the most miraculous feats in staving off the Germans from totally conquering Western Europe right in the beginning. The Brits’ renowned stiff upper lip attitude for that historical period enabled their tiny island nation to keep the Germans at bay & actually STOPPED them from invading England. Their stubborn determination stood them in good stead. With the American & Soviet Union as their allies, fascism was eventually defeated in the West & millions of people were liberated from ungodly tyranny. British courage for that time period was and still is exemplified by Winston Churchill. Strangely, I find his oratory to be from the Heart & very emotional in his love of England & his stand against fascism which originally, was an unpopular stand. When I think of the RAF, the Battle of Britain, & Marshall Dowding, tears come to my eyes. I would say the emotional constraint & self-sacrifice of the British got them through a terrifying time from 1939 to 1945. It also enabled them to survive the postwar-years of little money & food rationing & the general chaos of Europe as it tried to return to normal. Perhaps, as you have indicated, this emotional lid no longer serves them. I am no expert on current events or modern history. Just saying there was a time when the British stiff upper lip served a great & mighty purpose. Perhaps it has outlived its usefulness from what you say, I don’t know. Perhaps they had to be that way for so long, it is harder to change than the other nations, but in time…all things do seem to change, I think. Thank-you for your work. Margaret

    1. Colin

      I absolutely agree with everything you say. Thanks for your thoughtful contribution.


  17. helen

    hello there colin – this video reached me! i see a lot of your “work” come up online etc, but this one broke through for some reason –
    thank you so much for these words in this video.
    one question, when you say ” the english maybe aren’t ready” i feel this is a big generalisation because this resonates at different levels for each of us – sorry just quibbling over language….

    1. Colin

      Hi Helen,
      Yes, it is an overgeneralisation but according to my own perception at this time ‘generally’ true.

  18. Susan

    Thank you for your authenticity, Collin. I think your distinction between resentment and sadness is spot on, and I share your sadness about this. Most people seem so uncomfortable with sadness and what its existence implies–(grief over so much repression/suppression of genuine, authentic human emotions) that I think the automatic instinct is to snuff it out–both in themselves and in others–as quickly as possible. It’s considered “unpleasant” or, as the “sages” of new age doctrine might label it, “negative energy.” I have always believed that this is an inauthentic assessment of what’s really happening. I have found that the rare people who can admit to their sadness, or whatever other genuine emotion they may be feeling, are actually taking responsibility for what is going on with them in any given moment. This is powerful, truthful, and just–and it has an effect on others; it brings clarity and honesty to situations. It honors truth in a very personal way. The rhetoric of well-meaning new-age movements almost strikes me as a kind of auto-immune response, wherein the concept of “positivity” is used as a weapon. This deeply saddens me, because I have seen it play out over and over again in many so-called awakened groups. The irony is that everybody seems UPTIGHT, and almost desperate to appear “positive,” while the tension can be so thick you can slice it with a knife.

    Also, however, I must say that I’ve spent many years in the American Midwest, and the repression you seem to think is indigenous only to the UK is alive and well here. I was a professor of Communication for 20 years here in the rural Midwestern United States, and I have felt the sadness you speak of in your video on a daily basis. I am happy to hear that you have found a receptive voice in many areas of the world, including the US, but for my own part, I’ve spent years trying to “crack the code” of my fellow Midwesterners, and it remains an ongoing puzzle. My theory is that it has something to do with listening (both to the self and to others). But, I’ll leave off for now. Thank you for honestly sharing your reaction to a seemingly intractable problem–not only among the English, but within the species as a whole. Wishing you well.

    1. Colin

      Hi Susan,

      Thankyou for this very thoughtful comment. It clarified a lot for me. My wife is from the mid-west so she knows first hand of what you speak. However, taking the long view, compared with 10-15 years ago, people are opening up a lot more now so I am hopeful that a shift in consciousness into the 4th and 5th dimensions is not far off. If and when it happens it will either scoop everyone up all together so everyone awakens or it will leave behind those who prefer to stay in the 3rd dimension and asleep. Either way will be perfect.


  19. Diane Smith

    Colin ~ Thank you for the clarification. You are a true blessing. Love your Radical Forgiveness book. It’s opened my eyes & set me free!

  20. Sue Hamilton

    Thank you, Colin. You have given me much to think about. I am a member of a number of Twelve Step programs here in the States and have learned so much from them. The number one thing I try to remember is, Acceptance is the answers to all my problems today. It is a quote from our Big Book and has been such a help to me. I am still a work in progress, though. Thanks for all you do.



  22. Alamaia Will

    Bravo! The profound and generous spirit of this video is what causes a ripple of healing. Many thanks and blessings for sharing your vulnerability.
    Always Aloha. Alamaia

  23. Robert Gabriel

    Just finished watching this video & noticed You frequently saying “It makes me sad that…” I appreciate the wonderful contribution You are making with your work, and suggest You examine [be mindful of] your language. There is No “IT’ that makes one feel ANYTHING. As well as “why”, “It makes me feel…” is a victim statement. Besides having to allow myself to feel an emotion in order to heal it, I must own it as my own, in order to fully heal it. You may well have the “trapped emotion” of sadness. As an adjunct to your wonderful work, consider checking out “The Emotion Code” by Bradley Nelson. Thanks for all You are doing for us all.

    1. Colin

      Hi Robert,
      Point taken. I should have said I feel sad that … instead of it makes me feel sad. You are right, the latter is a victim statement. The former is me owning my sadness, which was the point of the video. I will look for Bradley’s book.

  24. Sandra

    Dear Colin,

    Thank you for posting this video, it was exactly what I needed. I’ve been having feelings of anger & sadness regarding a fatal incident. I was questioning myself as to why I’m feeling what I’m feeling as I was in no way connected to the incident. My heart continues to grieve for the parents that lost their child to an untimely death. I’m saddened & angered because I’m a mother & could never imagine losing my sons in the manner in which this child died. Nevertheless, when I watched the video I realized that it is ok to feel what I’m feeling even though its not about me. What resonated with me is the statement “feelings only become toxic when they are suppressed & denied & stunt our spiritual growth”. It’s ok to feel whether it’s good, bad, happy, or sad. I can now do forgiveness work for myself for feeling guilty of what I’m feeling. Thank you!

  25. Nancygail Q

    Hi Colin,
    Sweet, sweet spirit, THANK YOU from my heart to yours. I am being ‘urged’ by Spirit to reply to your post. Since my writing tends to be lengthy, I’ll let Spirit lead. I was born in the middle of WWII (1942), to a domineeering German mother and a submissive English father. While the war (Germany vs. England & Allies) raged out in the world, it also raged within, in our family, and then in me. Looking back, I think FEAR, in its various guises, caused the war; it was everywhere, and it was in charge. From the beginning, I was taught/’trained’ NOT to speak or express my thoughts, needs, wants or feelings. It was forbidden!! No matter what happened to me, and it did, I must not speak, I must ONLY LISTEN. I could not BE ME. Basically isolated from others, I learned the lesson well, and, did not disobey! But…as a loving, feeling spiritual being, I felt all the feelings around me…all the fear, the pain, anger and suffering. I absorbed it all like a sponge. Periodically a safety valve would blow in fits of disobedience against some rule, or in depression or unexplainable stomach pains. But I NEVER broke the rule of SILENCE. Three months into my marriage to an Italian only son, I was hospitalized with stomach problems. My Italian doctor’s RX – “you have to start yelling or you’ll get ulcers.” “NO, I CAN’T”. We moved away. I ended up on my knees in my living room, paralyzed, crying to God(?) for help. I took a yoga class. We moved again and I had the first of many kidney stones. The pain made me yell, a lot!!!!!!! [A while ago I learned the kidneys are where fear gets stored in the body.] I talked, complained and yelled!!! I was told “not to talk about my parents like that” and “get over it.” I was not supposed to feel like that or be so sensitive. Years of confidential ‘talk-about-it’ therapy honed my story and its telling. Nothing helped. Forgiveness wasn’t mentioned. But interestingly, when I encountered the Forgiveness of the Course in Miracles, I KNEW it was right for me, I KNEW it would help me!!! It was, and it did help. I’ve also learned from other Course-related teachers, that the healing power of Forgiveness is for healing the thoughts and feelings we have as human beings. The HUMAN experience is about FEELING! Gary Renard, D. Patrick Miller, Jennifer Hadley, You (Mr. Tipping), Nick Davis (a Course teacher in the UK where you are right now; he runs The Center for Inner Peace with his wife), Rhonda Britten, SITH-Ho’oponopono from Dr. Hew Len and Joe Vitale. All teach the same idea – forgiveness is how we deal with how we feel. Feeling IS, therefore, a requirement for this. No feeling, no healing. So, I believe you are correct when you say, “you can’t heal what you don’t feel”. Actually I KNOW from my experience that it’s true. I did not heal until I began to feel. Thank you so very much for sharing with us. May I suggest you try to connect with Nick Davis and his wife, Anne, while you’re there? It will do your heart good. [Ask him about his CD, ‘The Art of Heart Whispering’] I send you Love and Blessings from God and Me~Nancygail

  26. Nancygail Q

    Dear Colin,
    Sorry, it’s me again, “with the rest of the story”, that relates to your article and video – the toxicity of hidden, unexpressed feelings, and the need for the healing power of Forgiveness. Before my mom died, my cousin shared some ‘hidden’ (from me) family history. The short version of the ‘big’ event was that my grandfather abandoned his family (and my 6 year-old mom). Years later when he wanted to return, my grandmother was willing to forgive him, but an aunt convinced her not to let him back. They didn’t understand what that did. There was no healing, so the pain (dis-ease) of unforgiveness spread through the family. Decades later my dad developed bladder and thyroid cancers, yet lived for 20+ years. My aunt developed leukemia and lived for 10+ years. My mom developed the same leukemia and died in 4 months. What I’ve learned from you all is this: Forgiveness is simple – it’s the action of Love in motion…releasing feelings and thoughts, thus healing the pain of separation. It occurs within in the heart and mind, so anyone can ‘do it’ whenever and wherever they are. And now I know that I have the power to Forgive, so I will. And thanks to you and others, Colin, I have tools to help me.
    From a grateful heart, I send Blessings and LOVE to you, Colin~Nancygail Q

  27. Samhita Donaggio

    Dear Colin,

    thank you for all you are doing and sharing around the world <3 it is of greatest importance.

    Could it be that your feeling sad is more like feeling compassion…that keeps your heart open and being your "motor" that makes you continue your marvelous work?

    Also, you should never need to appologize for what reactions you may give to others by being yourself. The reactions people get is only the "wounds" in themselfs that you help them to open up, the emotions of old stuff in themself that gives them the opportunity to CLEAN (heal and forgive = love) whatever pops up. Whoever has the strenght of giving us "normal-not-so-conscious-people" what we need to be able to see and clean (read =forgive) is a real teacher! But all this you know already ofcourse .

    You are the light (and therefor also RF, your creation of your soul) that you spread around yourself to all of us, and that is enough. Your books are the beams of your light that is spreading even furthermore to all corners of the world. Please, let your light continue shining, thank you.


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