For more people than the Hallmark Card industry likes to acknowledge, Christmas day and Valentine’s day have one thing in common: An increased feeling of loneliness arising immediately afterwards.
The industry starts revving up for Christmas in early October. The promise is that happiness will prevail for all as we exchange presents and, with plenty of food and drink on hand, enjoy festive togetherness in a pleasant and supportive atmosphere.
But more often than we like to admit, when it’s all over we are left feeling more alone and disconnected than before. For those without any family with whom to connect, the feeling of loneliness is amplified many times over.
(By the way, before you write to tell me I am being non-inclusive, I have no experience of holidays other than Christmas, so I am restricting my comments to that which I know.)
While it is popularly held that that the suicide rate goes up immediately after Christmas, the truth is otherwise. Nevertheless, the very fact that the myth prevails is an indication of how Christmas is perceived as being both stressful and, for some, a somewhat depressing experience.
Valentine’s Day is nothing like as bad as Christmas in this respect. Nevertheless, if you are a person who has little or no genuine love coming your way, or have no expectation of there being any romance in your life, then Valentine’s day is just another reminder of how alone and unloved you feel. The Valentine’s Day card given you out of a sense of obligation only makes it worse, even if it comes with a dozen roses. You know if it’s real or not.
That said, though, why not look at Valentine’s day as a wake-up call. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, how about going inside and asking yourself why you don’t have the love in your life that you want? Is it that you don’t love yourself and that this is being reflected? It’s hard for people to love you if you don’t love yourself.
What if you are in a relationship that has gone flat and needed a turbo-charge or a makeover? What can you do? Well, the first thing is to make a realistic assessment of your relationship as it is now. If it’s worth saving, put some energy into making something happen to make it better. If not, then find the best way to leave and move on. If there is still some life remaining in the relationship, then re-negotiate the terms of it and make it new. I will be teaching people how to do all of this on the Valentines Day Cruise. (As well as giving a seminar I will be offering private sessions.)
If you don’t have a partner and feel the desire to have one, put some energy into manifesting the perfect partner. If your last relationship failed and you are alone, analyze why it didn’t work and then make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes again next time. (I have a list of common mistakes I can share with you.)
Make sure you do the forgiveness work and clear out the old energy before you set about creating a new one. Otherwise, you will take it with you into the new relationship. Before you even start the manifestation process, define your boundaries, establish your values and be clear about who you are, what you want and, just as important, what you don’t want. This is also a topic for the Valentine’s Day Cruise.
This coming Christmas JoAnn and I will do what we normally do. As a way of expressing my love for JoAnn and to celebrate our 24 year relationship, I will create the most delicious roast dinner for her and myself, along with all the trimmings and a nice glass of wine. Then we will go to the movies. We will not be alone. There will be plenty of others there doing the same, but for reasons known only to themselves. I hope it’s not because they are lonely.