You’ll be pleased to know that my 28-day daily dance with chemo and radiation ended on Tuesday. Yippee! Thank you for all your love and support. It helped a great deal. The oncologist at the end said, “You’ve just breezed through this without a scratch, haven’t you.” I said, “Yes, but I’ve had a lot of help.”
The same day I ended my treatment, our brand new website was launched. A great new beginning! Have you seen it yet? I hope you like it.
Anyway, I’m feeling great and ready to begin the Brachytherapy treatment in England on the 19th. (I explain this and the other forms of treatment I’ve been doing in the Colin’s Wellness Journal Facebook Group Page. Click here to catch up with what’s been going on if you wish to know the full story.)
JoAnn left last Sunday and is now in England checking on the latest crop circles that have appeared and other esoteric stuff. I leave on Tuesday and will meet up with her on Wednesday. We’ll be there until November.
My final treatment session on Tuesday with Dr. Lee, my acupuncture guy, was also very interesting. He had studied for 10 years with a master in Korea who told him that all ailments, diseases, body issues, etc., come from the mind.
For years, Lee resisted that idea and did not believe him. But then he got liver cancer himself and realized then that the master was right. Lee was very angry with his father for abusing him as a boy and hadn’t spoken to him for 10 years. He knew that anger settled in the liver and realized his cancer was a message for him to forgive his father. He found a way to do it and cured himself completely.
Of course, I told him about Radical Forgiveness and the cancer retreats we did in the 90s, and he asked if I would do a lecture at the next annual open day.
Then he turned to me and told me what I already knew and have been teaching for years; that basically cancer is connected with beliefs about death, dying and mortality. It is the outplaying of a subconscious wish to check out, or at least to examine whether one wants to live much longer in a physical body on this plane. He thought this applied to me at some level.
I knew he was right about this for me. I had already confronted myself on this issue as those of you who have been following my FB page will know from having watched the dialog I had with “Charlie,” (my name for the cancer), since that issue was explored during the video session.
I admit that even at the conscious level I had been wondering whether having reached age 73, coming up 74, it was time to go home. I had discussed it in these terms to JoAnn, my men’s group, and other friends I trust. No doubt my subconscious mind was on this wavelength too.
Not that I was unhappy or unfulfilled. That wasn’t it. I felt I had, more or less, done what I had come in to do, changed a few lives and made a bit of a difference. Not that I couldn’t go on doing my work for a few more years, of course.
But I have gotten my business to the point where it no longer needs me to be active in it because I have trained others to do what I do. Radical Forgiveness will live on no matter if I am alive or dead.
So, I was asking myself, was there really a whole lot of point in living on if only to decline gradually in health and vitality and be not much use to anyone? I was not being morbid. I was simply thinking it through.
I don’t believe longevity for the sake of it is necessarily a good idea. Why not move on while you have the ability to make that decision and are able to move through the death experience consciously and with full awareness?
But my Higher Self had other ideas about this. I’ve tested it every which way I know, from using my trusty pendulum, muscle testing it from every possible angle, having readings from a shaman, a clairvoyant, and a channel, not to mention all the clear “signs” I get when I pay attention, but it seems I am supposed to stay for at least a couple of decades more yet.
Not just to continue doing the same work until I run out of steam, necessarily but to do something new and different. What that is, I have no idea, but I do know now that it portends an ending and a beginning. It is exciting — and all the more so for not knowing.
The other day I took some time to plot on a timeline all the moments of significant change in my life. I was staggered to discover a clear pattern of 4 all the way from birth to now. (Note: It is almost four years to the day since our last website makeover and the launch of this one.)
So I have made a conscious commitment to stay here in this body and on this physical plane for at least 3 more cycles of four years. Unless I am shown different, I see myself continuing doing Radical Forgiveness for the next 4 years, but in a different, more expanded way as you will come to see as we roll out our new programs for 2016. You might even get a sense of it from looking at the new website. What the next 4 years might look like, who knows. Life, it seems, is but a series of endings and beginnings.